by Pastor Tosin Macauley

Text: Proverbs 17 verse 17
“A friend loveth at all times: and a brother is born for adversity”. KJV

It is really in times of adversity that you know who your real brother is. Introduction:
When we talk of sowing seeds, it implies that a harvest is expected.

Right relationships on the other hand mean:

1. Relationship accepted by God.
2. Relationship which ends up right.
3. Relationship between the right kinds of people

For example, that between a man and a woman which leads to marriage. GOD DISAPPROVES SAME SEX MARRIAGE. It is contrary to His word- Romans 1 verses21-28

God also approves healthy and holy relationship between siblings, members of the same household of faith as well as in the work place or the community.

The Harvest
Every seed sown, produces a harvest according to Genesis 8 verse22 and the harvest is always greater than the seed sown, Hosea 8 verse 7 which tells us “for they have sown the wind and they have reaped the whirlwind: it hath no stalk: the bud shall yield no meal if so be it yield, the strangers shall swallow it up”.

Many are doing things now which they do not realize are seeds which will bring unpleasant harvest later in life.

For any relationship to work, it must be built. No relationship grows overnight; there is no instant success.

What seeds therefore must be sown to ensure right relationship?

1. You must build a friendship first.
It is essential to begin t cultivate a friendship. Be people who can talk with one another easily about varied things. You can have things to discuss with each other. When the initial heat of love in a relationship goes down, there must still be a basis on which two people can relate with one another.

2. Openness is essential.
Genesis 2 verse 25 talks of Adam and Eve being naked before each other and not being ashamed. This verse does not only referring to the physical nakedness between a man and his wife. More importantly, it refers to true openness in a relationship. Not having hidden or secret agendas, not pretending, being yourself. The ability to allow someone else share your emotional space with without being self conscious.

3. There must be truthfulness.
In your dealings with people with whom you have a relationship, especially close ones, you must be truthful with one another even if it hurts. It is always better to sort issues out with each other. The Bible says faith faithful are the wounds of a friend but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful” proverbs 22 verse 6.

4. In every relationship, look for what you can give.
Many enter into relationship with people principally for what they can give. Too many are calculating on their expected benefits from the relationship, forgetting that the bible says, “It is more blessed to give that to receive” acts 20 verse 35.
So you find people befriending you for the contacts you have or can direct them to. A man or a woman wants to get married, but while supposedly praying, he/she is also looking for Mr. / Miss “money bags”. It could also be for what they think they can get being married into that family. This causes relationship to lose its value, to have its real worth.
Unfortunately, it appears increasingly difficult to find genuine friendship these days, even among Christians. So many are short lived. Once the person has got what they want, real man, /woman within shows up.

5. There must be communication
God our father is the originator of communication skills. He used to discuss with Adam in the cool of the evening. He sought Adams partnership in naming all the animals; Genesis 2 verse16-19. Scriptures abound to prove that God is seeking us to talk with him, hear him talk to us and subsequently, obey him.

• Isaiah 1 verse 18 says “come now and let us…,
• Jeremiah 33 verse 3 says “call unto me and I will answer you…,
• Psalm 50 verse 15 call upon me … I will deliver you.”
• Isaiah 43 verse 26 says “put me in remembrance, let us plead together….

If God desires an open channel of communication with man, how much more is it important that people in a relationship with one another talk with each other? This is especially important between man and wife.

6. There must be mutual respect.
Too many people treat people carelessly in relationships. There must be mutual respect, in honour, each must prefer the other. Romans 12 verse 10 says “be tender loving one another with brotherly love; preferring one another. We must learn to submit to one another in the fear of God, Ephesians 5 verse 21.

7. Build your relationship on God.
Let the foundation of the relationship be built on God Almighty. Share the word of God together; pray together and for one another. Let the Bible be the standard by which you will operate with each other. Luke 6 verses 48 and 49 say, “a house built on God will stand in the storms of life”.

May God help us all to build lasting relationships.

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